Spiky and Sassy: Sarsaparilla

 

Meet Smilax vanilliodora! She also goes by Sarsaparilla for short, if you're on that level with her. After nursing wounds from her feisty pokes and cradling her all wrapped around your arms, you might just be on that level. Maybe.

So, let's get on that level! And we'll do so in a way inspired by Washington Post Date Lab. For those of you yet to get acquainted with the wonders/cult-following that we call Date Lab, it goes a little like this: two DC singles are set up on a blind date on a budget of $100, and they have to report back for all the entire metro area to read. There's a brief bio of both love-seekers, and both of them recount the date. In Plant Date Lab Jungle Edition, six OTS students are set up to investigate the vivacious vine Smilax vanilliodora. Heading out to greet their match, they have a GPS, latex gloves, plant clippers, and garbage bags in tow. 

Your type...
Sarsaparilla: Being a vine, I have to admit that I am a little bit needy. I'd love someone with a sturdy trunk that I can really lean up against and grab onto. I'm also kind of tall (sometimes over 10 meters!), so I'd prefer a mighty high partner...I love going out in heels!
Danielle:  I'm a big fan of members of the melastomataceae fam. And those bromeliaceae are always a winner. Love me some tropical plants! 

Happiest when...
Sarsaparilla: Stretching up toward the treetops in a humid forest environment in Central America! I love slurping up that agua. People tell me my spunky spikes show off my Latina flair. 

Danielle: Going on night hikes and putting frogs on my face. And whenever I have my headlamp on. It lights up my life when the going gets dark.

Brag a little...
Sarsaparilla: While I boast a gorgeous green exterior, I have the strength of a woody branch. I've also mastered many forms of self defense, as evidenced by my spikey modified leaves. But I'm ain't just brawn with no brains! Besides being an ingredient in some root beer recipes, I also have a number of medicinal uses. Need a Rheumatism treatment? That's me! Blood purification? Hit me up! Skin rashes? Throw a dash of me onto that! Basically I am your everything.

Danielle: I'm short so I can fit into small places! And one time I won a hula-hooping contest. 

8:00 AM, La Finca de Luna Nueva 

Danielle: We got to the forest at little after 8 am. There was only a little foot traffic there and only a few slips in the mud from the prior 48 hours of constant rain. The day before, the professors told our group how the goal on this date was to look into the best growth conditions for this plant and to see if there was any correlation between aboveground plant mass and root mass. 

Saraparilla: It was so nice that this meet-up was right in my neighborhood! I didn't have to move at all. At little after 8, I saw this gangly, confused group of Gringos getting up in my space. I thought it might be them, but I decided to wait for them to come to me.

Danielle: It wasn't the usual type of plant I'd go for, but I'm an open person. I usually prefer plants without spikes, especially if I just have latex gloves to handle them and the spikes tear my gloves open.  

Sarsaparilla: She was really short. That's kinnnnda a deal breaker. 

Danielle: Like most a lot of people today, I tried to do a little background research, a little googling if you will, to dig up the dirt on my plant. From our findings, we knew this was gonna be a spiky vine, but the passive-aggressive term "modified leaves" to describe these spikes does not acutely enough convey the point that these are seriously pointy fellas. And the heights of these plants don't mess around. Craning our necks up sometimes, we failed to spot the end of the plant growth. We hadn't realized how difficult it would be to delicately dig up these scattered and fragile roots or to successfully yank down the whole vine.

Sarsaparilla: This whole group of students was kind of grabby with me. But I'm not gonna lie, I didn't mind the attention.

Danielle: It was really important that we dig up the entirety of the root mass, so we started by finding the base of the vine, and then we used our hands to follow the roots branching from the center. When there were leaf-cover spots of land, we poked around with a stick first just to check to see if there were any third party animals trying to crash our date...we only found one!

An uninvited guest trying to slither into our Sarsaparilla moment

Sarsaparilla: At first I was flattered by all this, but it soon took a turn for the more aggressive. After assaulting me around the roots, these perturbing people started to yank me down from my trees. I don't know, were they jealous of me hugging onto them or something? 

Danielle: While we tried not to have wandering eyes while with our dear Sarsaparilla, we did make sure to count the number of neighboring plants around our favorite vine. We thought that the competing plants might have an effect on root mass! 

Sarsaparilla: And then after pulling me from my home and loved ones as I desperately held onto them with my last ounce of strength, they wrapped me up and stuffed me in these black, plastic garbage bags! Darkness was abound. From what sick, twisted culture do these kidnappers come from?

Danielle: Carrying the plants back in plastic bags, we emerged from the forest to see the first glimpse of sunlight in many days, a strain on the unadjusted eyes. We headed back to our home base at the Luna Nueva Lodge, we laid out our dearest Sarsaparilla to measure it head to toe. 

Sarsaparilla: And then after stretching me uncomfortably, they chopped me up into little pieces to weigh me on a scale! I'd have to rate this date a 1. Actually, can I rate it a negative 1?  Never have I ever been so violated.

Danielle: I'd have to give it a 4. While a little rough on the edges, it was definitely a learning experience in the field! Sarsaparilla was a little feisty at first, but I think we really warmed up to each other. I'm excited to see where things go in the future.

Parting moments with Sarsaparilla

Update: Needless to say, there was no follow up contact between Sarsaparilla and the group of OTS students. But, from their short time together, the students did find a statistically significant positive correlation between the above ground vine mass and the root mass. They also found the there was more root mass in plants with fewer vines in the immediate surrounding area. All these could be useful in future cultivation of the plant! Danielle and the OTS group are now back in Las Cruces, where they have recently finished their final exams in Tropical Medicine and Ethnobiology. They're now working on their final research projects!